Why I don't want kids

I'm blogging for myself and don't really expect to have readers in the near future, so bear with me if you've come across this blog randomly. Once I decide to join the blogosphere game, I'll start commenting on other people's blogs and then perhaps gain a few loyal followes.

So, back to the kids debate. Let me get one thing straight before I start: I . Love. Kids.

Truly.

They're fun to be with, they're adorable most of the time, I love working with them, and hey I even enjoy changing diapers. However, I don't want kids of my own. I've had that feeling since I was a kid and now that I've hit my mid-twenties, I think about it more often (naturally) and despite pressue from my community to get married and start having babies immediately, I just don't feel that passionate about getting pregnant. People tell me, once you have a baby, you'll fall in love with it, ... exactly. Once. You. Have. A. Baby. And. You're. Stuck. With. It. You. Have. No. Other. Choice.

My sister had a baby earlier this year, and I was with her through labor and for several days afterwards. When I held her baby girl for the first time, I knew I would love her to death and protect her like a second mother. She was just so perfect. I took care of her for the first few days, feeding her, washing her, changing her, holding her, and loving her because her mother was recovering from surgery. We bonded. But... did I feel I want one of my own? Nope. Not once. I swear to God.

I know if I ever end up getting pregnant, I'll love the kid to bits, but until then, I really hope I don't have a child. If I were to list the reasons, they'd look like this:

1. I don't feel passionate about babies. My friends and family continue to breed and I'm surrounded by babies all the time, but I'm just not feeling it people.

2. I'm a writer, a journalist, an activist, a reader and a traveler. I'm worldly. I know what our world is like and I expose myself to reality way too often (by reality I mean I don't live in a bubble). To be honest, I reached a point during the Arab Spring and when the riots were taking place in London and earthquakes in Japan and hurricanes and all the horror where it just hit me 'I don't want to bring a child into this world. It's not fair'. And I really do believe it's just not fair. The world is over-populated, there are way too many problems and it's going to get better anytime soon. Why submit a child to all this? Raising children just isn't safe anymore. I'd spend my whole life worrying about them, and  I'd feel so bad if they were exposed to any of the bad stuff.

3. I like my lifestyle. I love my job, I'm planning to do an MBA soon, I love love love traveling, I want to read and study and learn as much as possible. And yes, I do enjoy traveling at short notice if the opportunity arises. I have friends all over the world. My bucket list is longer than your average roll of toilet paper. I like that my money is my own to squander. I worship my weekends and my beauty sleep. And most of all, I love my freedom. Does that make you uncomfortable? I don't care. It's my life, not yours.

4. Finally, ever since I was a little girl, I imagined living alone in a house filled with books and lamps and comfortable sofas with a big kitchen that always smells good. Alone. I want to be that special aunt or friend to kids around me. I want kids to be able to come to my home and have fun and bake with me and bond. A few years ago I tutored an 8-year-old boy. He worshipped me. We spent four hours a week together. We'd curl up on the sofa and read Harry Potter, we'd bake cookies together and paint and make playdough. We'd visit the library and feed the cats and play board games and discuss important things. I taught him how to spell and read like a grown-up. I introduced him to his first dictionary and thesaurus. He was my student for two years and boy did I love it. I'd spend days preparing his exercises and homeworks and activities. We totally bonded. He'd leave my house with a huge smile on his face and always beg for more books to read and more baking lessons. When he left after each lesson, I'd close the door with a smile on my face. You see folks, that's the kind of relationship I want with kids. I want my home to be a haven for kids. I want to have a special relationship with every child in my life. I want to be a believing eye in theirs. But at the end of the day, I want to close the door, watch a movie, soak in a bathtub filled with lavender, then curl up in bed with a good book. By myself. Is that so bad?

In conclusion, I want to make the world a better place by giving my time and energy to good causes. I want to volunteer, I want to learn, I want to make a difference. I want to thrive in a world filled with other people's children.